Everything Is Over Beginning In October

We're past the halfway mark of the month, which means that it is practically November. And all that November is good for is Thanksgiving so we piss away the few days between the start of the month and the fourth Thursday. Who decided that?

No really. Who gets to make these decisions. Why a Thursday? Why not just pick a number and stick with it? Was it some sort of plan to try to get a four day weekend every year? Wait...okay I'm back. Wikipedia tells me it was the politicians. Figures. Whatever, Bing search it for yourself if you want the answer.

And so but it's pretty much almost Thanksgiving, which means that Christmas holiday shopping is starting and Black Friday and Cyber Monday and Ruby Tuesday's, etc. Like so then, more or less, it's already Christmas holiday. And if it's holiday then the end of the year is in a couple days and BOOM! Here we are in 2014.

You guys, it is for all in tents and pursives, indistinguishably, the new year. Right now. I'm going to start signing my checks 2014. (Hah! Cash that, gas company).

Two days ago it was 70F and sunny and I was wearing shorts and everything was all right. Alright? Two days from now I will have to scrape frost off my car. This is it. This weekend is transition weekend. The next six months are going to suck.

We don't get a Native American Summer. It already happened. You didn't notice it because real summer overlapped it. It's going to get dark and cold and everything is over.

Hey, stop being so glum. There are good things about this time of year. For instance: there are still 3 months of football left. Warm comfort foods like chili, chicken pot pie, apple dumplings, mashed potatoes. Sweaters. The color of leaves. The color of the sky. It is socially acceptable to have whiskey/bourbon/scotch at all times. Right? You don't feel like you are wasting your life when you sit inside working on a computer or playing video games. We already said Christmas holiday.

By the way, are we still on LLBean Duck Boots or have we gone back to Uggs? Remember when galoshes made a splash? (lol, almost a pun). When will someone invent a winter flip-flop? What's the uniform this season you guyz i neeeed to knooow!

Northfacejacket-leggings-uggs-starbuckscoffee. Cosbysweater-ironicmomjeans-docmartins. Leatherjacket-flannel-skinnyjeans-italiandesignerboots. Just tell me what is IN! I need to be a part of society!

Here are my fall/winter fashion predictions. Late 80's early 90's and irony. Ridiculous sweaters. Maybe, just maybe, terrible khakis, but probably something more like neon hammer pants. Mittens. I can't rule out puffy nylon outerwear. Hmmm, what about the feet? Un-laced Timberlands? Naw. Probably cowboy boots.

What is the IT color? I'm going with like a teal. A blue-y teal-ish color. Maybe some purple and gold accents. I really have no idea about fashion. This is all gut. But my finger is usually probing the heartbeat so don't be surprised if this isn't too far off.

In summary: year is over, you've wasted life, what are you wearing?